Society has a habit of coming up with sweeping generalizations. When people get to a certain age they’re often described as being ‘past it,’ especially when it comes to physical relationships. There can be a tendency amongst younger individuals to assume that only their generation are enjoying sex and that the older someone gets, the less likely they are to want to engage in flirty behavior.
The only truth to any of this is how inaccurate these assumptions are. When it comes to online dating, mature singles are one of the most enthusiastic demographics. So many sites cater to older members who are just as keen on romance as anyone much younger. Yes, with age, sex is no longer the same as at 20, but it can still be satisfying, and you can take part in or organize grannies meet to connect with women your age, cultivate a relationship or simply enjoy casual meetings that end up with both of you in bed.
Where Do The Problems With Sex Come From?
While many older people relish the prospect of getting into online dating and starting new relationships, nature might inevitably get in the way on some occasions. Erectile dysfunction, the inability to maintain an erection, can be a problem for some and is not necessarily restricted to mature individuals.
Although what is also known as impotence will be more common in men over the age of 40; it can also be triggered by situations such as anxiety. Medically, there are reasons for the blood vessels in the penis narrowing. High blood pressure or excessive cholesterol will also impact someone’s sex drive.
Sex Tips for Older Men
An important tip is not to fixate on these issues. While they are not that common in men in early middle-age (around 4% of over-40s suffer from complete erectile dysfunction) this will increase with age (affecting upwards of 15% of those over 70s).
The figures for mild-to-moderate dysfunction are greater. But because becoming overly concerned about the problem can become a symptom in itself, much of the time the situation can be resolved by ‘mind over matter.’
Try not to focus on the act of sex itself. Instead, allow yourself to relax, savoring the moment. Rather than the rush of instant gratification that many younger people seem quite happy to be the pinnacle of their ‘lovemaking,’ if you’ve accumulated quite a bit of experience with your partner, then don’t even think about those final moments when you require that rush of blood to your manhood to achieve penetration. Instead, simply feel comfortable being in the presence of your partner, sharing whatever activities you normally indulge in.
If you enjoy watching Netflix films or box-sets, then put some thought into the titles you choose to stream. At least until you get over these issues, try avoiding tense thrillers that are going to make you feel on edge. Romantic comedies would be fine for getting you in a chilled mood.
Restarting a Stalled Sex Drive
How your partner reacts when there are problems in the bedroom is a massive part of the solution. It would certainly not help if they reacted adversely. But if they can treat the situation with a little more flippancy, making light of it, this will make it so much easier to get past. Watching a hilarious comedy during the lead-up to sex will help to put you both in the mood, alleviating the tension.
There are short-term solutions to help you get back into the proverbial saddle. There are those miraculous blue pills you might have heard of (such as Viagra – there are others). This is a genuine medical issue, so never be embarrassed about broaching it with your GP.
Think of other ways of spicing up your love life. Impotence isn’t helped if you have settled into a routine – the same positions and the same time of the week (or month). Perhaps this is when the same unwanted situation will recur.
So, shake things up. Change the settings. Indulge in dirty weekends where you enact the role of strangers meeting in the hotel bar, adopting different personae. Go for it in unusual locations – the restroom of a restaurant, in the car after a drive into the countryside. Once you start using your imagination, worrying about your sex drive will become a distant memory.